The Actor’s Nightmare by Christopher Durang (1980)

TW: Suicide Mention

 

SYNOPSIS

            “George” appears confused on stage unsure of where he is when the stage manager tells him he must go on as Eddie’s understudy since the actor just broke both of his legs. He’s sure that his name isn’t George and that he isn’t an actor. When he inquires about what play they’re doing, he gets different answers. George is pushed on stage into Noel Coward’s Private Lives which he doesn’t know any of the lines for and just when he starts to drown the play shifts into Hamlet. Soon George is the only actor on stage and performs a soliloquy of whatever Shakespeare he can remember with dashes of any text he’s memorized. When he’s almost done reciting his ABCs the stage manager sets the stage for Beckett’s Endgame which he confuses for Waiting for Godot. A voice announces the roles for Man for All Seasons including the executioner that will be playing themselves. George tries to change the script but everyone forces him to accept his fate and recite the correct lines permitting the executioner to kill him. He desperately tries to wake up from what he assumes is a dream, but once the executioner beheads him, he no longer moves. The cast take their bows with George’s body lying motionless and his head remaining unseen.

 

CHARACTERS

George Spelvin – 20-30

Meg – 25-30

Sarah Siddons – Glamorous Actress, Older than Dame Ellen

Dame Ellen Terry – Younger than Sarah & Less Grand

Henry Irving – 28-33, Somewhat Grand

 

POSSIBLE MONOLOGUES

            Henry has the first monologue in a very Shakespearean fashion about seeing the ghost of Hamlet’s father.

            The funnier monologue by far is George’s as he’s left on stage for his soliloquy and the spotlight he’s trying to stand in keeps shifting. It’s long and most likely would need to be cut carefully and well-practiced to be used for an audition.

 

PERSONAL THOUGHTS

            It really is the actor’s nightmare. To be on stage without the slightest clue of what your lines are let alone the direction of the play. This play becomes extra fun if you know the four shows it references. The Actor’s Nightmare is usually billed as a double feature with Durang’s Sister Mary Ignatius Explains It All for You. In fact, the two shows premiered together.