TW:
SYNOPSIS
Aside from the prologue, interlogue, and epilogue that each feature the same couple, every scene focuses on a different pair of actors. In the prologue we meet Ginette and Pete as they stargaze. Ginette confesses her love to Pete who takes quite some time to admit that he loves her as well. Ginette moves closer to him on the bench in an attempt to be as close as possible, which Pete says is actually as far away as she could possibly be from him. He says that she is technically as far west from him as possible. Ginette gets up to leave and realizing his mistake Pete reassures her that she is getting closer every step away she takes according to his analogy. She walks offstage and Pete is left alone.
Her Heart features Glory, who has decided to pitch her tent in East’s yard so she can see the northern lights. She believes they’re torches held by the recently departed and wants a final goodbye to her recently departed husband even though he left her heartbroken, literally. She had to get a new heart and carries her broken one in a plastic bag which keeps ending up in East’s hands through a series of unintentional interactions. Glory sees herself as responsible for her ex’s death since he came to the hospital to get her back and when she denied him he ran out of the hospital and was hit by an ambulance. The scene ends with her saying goodbye to her husband, Wes, and greeting the repairman, East, who vows to fix her heart.
Sad and Glad has Jimmy at a bar when he runs into his ex, Sandrine. He attempts to reconnect with her, but she’s forced to reveal that she’s at the bar for her bachelorette party and that she’s getting married in the morning. Jimmy tries to flag down the waitress and accidentally reveals his tattoo that reads Villian, but was supposed to say Villain. He thought he must be a villain for Sandrine to leave him, but is genuinely happy that she was found. As Sandrine leaves the waitress makes her way over and tells him to ask for her by name, Villian, pronounced like Jillian. Jimmy makes the connection as is glad that Villian found him.
This Hurts opens with Marvalyn finishing up her ironing when she accidentally whacks Steve with her ironing board. He has congenital analgesia and can’t feel pain. Steve insists that if there’s no blood or discoloration, he’s fine. Steve lives with his brother and is making a list of all the things that can hurt him and the things he should be afraid of. One of the things on both of his lists is love which riles Marvalyn up and she ends up kissing him despite having a boyfriend that she “loves so much” despite how much they argue. Steve is confused by the action and embarrassed, Marvalyn tries to leave and whacks him with the ironing board again, this time causing him to feel pain.
Getting It Back is about a woman trying to return all the love her boyfriend has given her in exchange for the love she gave him, since she’s running out of love for herself. She brings in several bags of his love and returns with a tiny pouch even though she insists that she gave him more love than that. Turns out she gave him so much love he couldn’t store it all and had to by a ring to hold all the love she had given despite dragging his feet for eleven years. Gayle accepts the ring and asks to keep Lendall’s love, which he’s happy to give. They kiss and hug.
The interlogue follows intermission and just has Pete on the bench looking stage left where Ginette exited.
They Fell features two Aroostook county boys, real men’s men. Chad insists he had the worst date because she couldn’t stand the way he smelled long enough to get out of her driveway. He’s sure that he wins and that he gets to plan what the two guys do tomorrow, but Randy reveals that he over tossed his date at a swing class and broke her face. Randy wins the contest and plans to do exactly what Chad wanted to do anyway. They lament dating and Chad professes that he’d rather spend his time with Randy instead of seeing women since Randy is the one thing in the world that makes him feel good and makes sense. Randy tries to cancel their plans and leave. Chad calls after him, but when he stands up his knees give out and he falls. Randy comes to help him and Chad admits that he just fell in love with Randy. Randy is upset and insists that Chad has crossed a line, but at the end up his rant, Randy’s knees buckle and he too falls. The men are on opposite sides of the stage and continue to stand and fall trying to get closer to each other to no avail.
Where is Went starts with Phil asking his wife, Marci, if she’s mad, which she insists that she isn’t. They’ve just finished skiing and Marci is missing one of her shoes. Turns out Phil has forgotten their anniversary and Marci is very much upset and feeling like Phil isn’t paying enough attention and working too much. Phil insists that Marci keeps lying to him about what she’s feeling to the point that he feels out of place and overworks to be somewhere that makes sense to him. They’re finally honest with each other and admit that neither of them had any fun. That’s when Marci’s shoe drops from the sky and Phil retrieves it for her. She puts it on and drives away leaving Phil on the stage alone.
Story of Hope has a woman arrive on a man’s doorstep. He’s half the man he used to be and Hope apologizes for barging into the wrong house. The last time she was there Danny asked her to marry him just before she was set to leave town for college. She said she’d have an answer for him in the morning but never told him. She goes to leave and the man says goodbye, but calls her by name. Hope realizes she had the right house all along, but that the way she left really took a toll on him. She ready to give him her answer when they hear a woman call Dan honey and asking who’s at the door. Hope leaves but confesses to the closed door that she did want to marry him.
Seeing the Thing begins with Rhonda inviting Dave onto her front porch for the first time – a big deal. Dave presents Rhonda with a painting to commemorate how long they’ve been together despite Rhonda feeling iffy about calling them “together.” The painting is supposed to be a pointillism piece that you can’t look at directly to see the image. He explains that you have to trick it. Rhonda tries to hard and Dave insists on getting beers to relax and take her mind off of it but Rhonda refuses to let him in. She instead tries to guess what it is and asks for a hint. Dave’s hint is a kiss which makes Rhonda try to kick him off her property. Dave explodes that she’s as hung up as all her friends say she is and that he was wrong to think he could put in enough effort to woo her. She tries to give him a kiss – very new territory for her and likes it. Soon the two are comically stripping off tons of outer layers and rush into the room to enjoy each other and the audience finally sees that the painting is of a heart.
Finally in the epilogue it starts to snow just as Ginette enters stage right having walked all around the world to finally be close to Pete.
CHARACTERS
Pete/Steve/Lendall/Man – 20-40, Man should be either very Short or very Thin
Ginette/Glory/Waitress/Gayle/Hope – 20-40
East/Jimmy/Chad/Phil/Dave – 20-40
Sandrine/Marvalyn/Marci/Rhonda – 20-40
POTENTIAL MONOLOGUES
There are several lines where characters speak for an extended amount of time, but many of them reference things already established in the scene that would be difficult to execute out of context. You can slightly edit Lendall’s monologue explaining that Gayle gave him so much love he had to buy an engagement ring to contain it.
Chad’s monologue where he realizes he’s in love with Randy is easier to work with the option of tagging on his later line where he explicitly says he’s fallen in love with him. Randy’s rant glosses over lots of key details and he never actually says he’s fallen in love with Chad also, so it’s not as strong a piece.
Story of Hope is essentially a really long monologue where Hope explains her crazy situation of realizing she wanted to marry a man years after he proposed and she ghosted him. Dan of course has interjections, but they could easily be skipped. I highly recommend finding a piece of her word vomit to focus on to build a monologue that tells the story making cuts along the way. Nothing should need to be added to make a good monologue about her trying to find the man that proposed to her. I think ending it sad with her line asking what she was supposed to do would be a safe choice.
Story of Hope also has Dan’s speech about dashing someone’s hope that would hold up pretty well.
PERSONAL THOUGHTS
I’ll forever think of Almost, Maine as the cheesy show high school’s would perform at one act competitions. At the same time this show is very endearing to me because of They Fell. It was one of my first positive experiences with gay representation and it amazed me that it had happier ending than I was used to, especially growing up in the Deep South.
A lot of the play would still resonate with today’s audiences. It’s a cute show and the playwright knows it. The only thing that feels out of place is how often characters kiss each other unprompted. It makes sense in Seeing the Thing, but in Her Heart and This Hurts the characters are complete strangers. Cariani does explain that the show is supposed to be about people undergoing intense emotion, though, so if it’s played right the random seeming kisses could be justified. Steve also has a line where he talks about his pain sensors – “and because they’re immature, my development as a human being has been retarded, he says, >”. This is Steve talking about what his brother says about him. The R word is arguably being used in a medical sense and not as a slur, but I still think if the play had been written in 2021 it would have been phrased differently. Mostly I mention it as a warning that didn’t seem fitting to label as a trigger warning and my opinion on its use is very limited as an allistic person.
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